Ode to D*ck Pics

I recommend you use discretion
Because in my phone there is quite a collection.
I don't know why it excites you so to send,
Maybe because you're proud yours doesn't bend?
I really wouldn't care if it does,
If that is just the way it was.
But why do you think I want to see
The thing you smile at when you go pee?
Your photography skills suck, you hurt my eyes.
Trust me! An unexpected d*ck pic is never a nice surprise.
Why do you guys pose with the remote?
A tube of toothpaste? A can of shaving cream?
Yeah, *eyeroll* receiving that is such a dream.
Not.
I've even received some videos, showing a certain kind of shot.
What am I supposed to say to those? Good job? Great aim?
Oh my gosh, so glad you came?
Do you think I am in such a hurry to see what's in your pants?
Do you think with me that will give you a better chance?
Nah, I don't think so. You just like to show it off.
But you know what we do? We talk about you and we just scoff.
That's great that you're so proud
And that you think you're so well endowed,
But we don't want to see your d*cks.
We want your FACE, send us those pics.
But please, use good lighting, and don't look down. Look into the camera.
Don't make us frown.
If you are tempted to whip it out,
Make sure we want to see. Make sure you have no doubt.
PLEASE know to NOT send if it is only to satisfy your id.
Because, for the love of god, please remember, d*ck pics SHOULD ALWAYS BE SOLICITED.

---

If you like this post, please share it, like it, subscribe, comment on it and follow me on Facebook and Instagram and buy my book!!