Best Tinder Date

I got blown off on Saturday.

TWICE.

I was supposed to meet someone from Bumble in the morning but he never finalized the plans and instead just stopped responding. He didn't unmatch me though soooo... that's not confusing.

At least that is better than having plans and then getting stood up as I did that night.

I was pretty excited because I almost never get Saturday night invitations. I can't remember how this guy and I ended up finding each other because our communication took place over Instagram. Maybe he started following me after seeing me on Bumble or Tinder? I can't remember. I definitely wasn't following him for his photography skills, I know that much.

Anyway, Saturday morning he messaged me and asked me about my vacation in Maine and I responded "Tell you about it tonight?" And then? He didn't respond again. This is why I love any other messaging platform other than SMS: I could tell that he had not read my messages but had been active. However, I don't know what good it did me to have that information in this situation.

Do you still go to meet a date when you are pretty sure you are being ignored and the person isn't going to show up?

Or do you give someone the benefit of the doubt and think, "Surely there is no way a person could have such bad manners as to just not cancel?"

Well, it was a gorgeous evening so I figured I would go anyway. However, as I got ready, I had anxiety the whole time about how it was going to make me feel if he didn't show up. First of all, I would be annoyed that I wasted time and effort doing hair and makeup for nothing! Second of all, I'm in a precarious enough emotional state as it is, being unemployed and suffering two years of dating disappointments. I really didn't need someone to pile onto that.

But, I got ready, I wore a good outfit, my hair looked good and I caught the bus to our date.

And of course, as you know, he didn't show.

So this is my question to my dear audience: WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

HOW HARD IS IT TO TELL SOMEONE "Sorry, I changed my mind but I wish you the best of luck."  HOW HARD IS THAT?!?!

On a Saturday night?!?!?!! 

The opportunity cost of this D*CK move is so high it infuriates me. I could have gone for a bike ride. I could have worked on my book. I could have made plans with my friends. Maybe I could have gone on a date with someone who would actually have shown up.

And how do you find the courage to keep putting yourself out there if this is what you face? Now I remembered why I don't like to accept Saturday night dates if they are ever offered - because this is what always happens! They get cancelled at the last minute, or in this case, not even cancelled at all.

This guy was the worst.

I was so annoyed. There is just no excuse for that type of behavior. None. If you have ever done that to someone, text them right now and apologize. Do ittttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!! And then never do it again to anyone.

If you change your mind about going on a date, you are allowed to do that!! Just have the manners to let the person know! And let them know in enough time so that they can make other plans!

Gahhhhhhh!!!!

Breathe, Jennifer. Breathe.

I thought, "What can I do? How can we just let these bad manners run rampant and let people get away with it? How can we let people ruin people's trust in other humans and ruin their nights?"

WHY ARE THERE NO MANNERS POLICE?!?!?!?!

I thought about sending this guy's mother a message telling her what her son did. So, I found him on Facebook... but, you can't see who his friends are. Darn.

I thought sending him a Venmo request for my bus fare. That would have been funny, right? But, there is more than one person with his name and I didn't want to request from the wrong person. Grrr.

I thought about telling my readers his name or posting his picture. But then I thought how that will just make me look like a huge giant hypocrite so I couldn't do that (even though he sure deserves it!!!!). But, I don't want to be unbecoming to my readers.

Oh well.

So I just sent him a message and told him he has VERY VERY bad manners.

And then I thought, "I have no job. I have no boyfriend. And I have no prospects for either."

And those are not fun thoughts.

So I thought:

don't spiral don't spiral don't spiral

think something positive think something positive thing something positive

think think think

focus focus focus

So, I thought about:

• How the bus driver had complimented my pedicure (which I did myself since I have to be frugal now).
• How the fireman I walked by told me to have a nice evening.
• The fact that I was going to get a lot of exercise walking all over town and that at least I was out and about on a beautiful summer evening.
• How flattering the lighting was in the bathroom of the restaurant I was supposed to meet this guy at.

See? Me trying to focus, but in a really good mirror:

(my skin is really not that flawless, I think I had the beauty setting on my phone up too high)

(also, please excuse the squiggles, my phone just does that)

Anyway, it is always good to find a bathroom that has flattering lighting when you are 43. That definitely made me feel better. At least I looked good.

Luckily, I had told my dear friend Nora that I was pretty sure I was going to be stood up and she had told me to meet her out on the date she was going on. That's a real friend, FYI. 

But, I was in the mood for a burger and my adorable friend Randa lives near where I was supposed to meet Nora so I asked her if she wanted to meet me and then we could meet Nora after. So this is what I did next:

YUMMMM.

With Randa I knew I was guaranteed both good manners AND a good time. Isn't she so cute? 

And then the best part was, Nora and her Tinder date showed up and joined us at the restaurant! It was such a fun and spontaneous surprise. He was so friendly and cool and nice and open and so my stood-up-Instagram-date turned into an awesome crashed-Tinder-date. Also, spontaneity is my favorite! Aside from my dates with my OTTL (One True Tinder Love) this was by far my best Tinder date. Thanks Nora!

So, thanks for getting me out of my apartment you InstaJERK because I did end up having an awesome night after all.

Oh, but try and get some manners so that you can just cancel politely on someone the next time.

***

Do you know how to cancel politely on people or do you have any stories of when you got stood up? Tell me in the comments!

---

If you like this post, please share it, like it, subscribe, comment on it and follow me on Facebook and Instagram!